Those who have not gone through National Service might not know how lonely it can get.
One’s social life during these two years is just not as lively as it was before.
Many of one’s friendships would just drift away.
Even romantic relationships are hard to keep up during this period of life.
Crazy Busy To Catch Up With Friends?
Source: Pexels
One might not really have time to socialise.
If someone books out only during the weekends, they would treasure those 48 hours a lot.
They’re so precious, would one really want to spend that time and energy with someone?
Or might he prefer charging his battery by sleeping more and spending more time alone?
Because of that, it might be quite shag to meet up with friends.
But let us say someone wants to meet his friends.
Well, most of the guys won’t be free because of the reasons just mentioned.
Their female friends might be busy with their lives at university.
So, since everyone’s busy, perhaps there shouldn’t be social gatherings?
And just like that, it can get lonely during the 2 years one is serving.
Social Circle Shrinks In The Army?
Source: Pexels
A concept surfaced recently that humans typically will have 150 people they can keep track of and consider part of their ongoing social network.
This is called Dunbar’s number.
The number 150 is pretty accurate for those in that stage of a student.
But in NS? One could barely keep track of 100 people.
Why is that the case?
For the next few months in NS, one might reconnect with his old friends, but he is more likely to lose friends that he hasn’t been in contact with for a long time.
Perhaps one would spend the weekends at home, talking only to their family members.
Some might look forward to life at university.
There might be a lot of hi-bye friends, but at least there are many opportunities for one to meet new people or constantly see the same group of friends.
Whereas in a military camp, there are not that many opportunities, right?
How About The People In The Military Unit?
Some might think one will not be lonely with them.
And some are on the more fortunate side, in the sense that they genuinely enjoy spending time with those in their unit.
They can complain about the problems faced in camp, spend their nights out together, and help each other out.
So, one might be blessed to have people they click with.
But can you imagine others who deal with toxic workplace cultures?
Or those who are isolated by the rest of the unit?
It’s tough for them.
Also, one wouldn’t want to spend his weekends with his platoon mates.
Why would he want to see them if he already spends 5 days every week literally living with them?
Furthermore, one might not be in contact with his platoon mates after NS.
He might hope to still have social gatherings with them years later, but the reality is that some would get too busy, or simply do not want to meet up anymore.
POV: Coping With Loneliness In NS
Source: Pexels
So, what’s there to do?
People could use this alone time to find an activity that would keep their minds engaged.
It could be working out and making videos.
You could also initiate plans with friends.
However, it might get exhausting if they are always the ones initiating to meet up with friends.
Once they realised that not everyone has the same enthusiasm, they might just have to let the friendship go.
If the other person would not even initiate once, though someone has done it so many times, then do let that person go.
And honestly, one might feel like his energy and time are better spent alone than with people.
There are perks to being comfortable with being alone.
To those in NS, continue working on yourselves.
For those who have friends in NS currently, you could reach out to them.
They might not respond immediately.
One might not have many common topics to talk about.
But letting them at least know that you’re thinking about them and hope they’re doing fine would mean a lot to them.
Romantic Prospects Are Not Looking Good
Source: Pexels
For those who are not in a relationship, it is hard to date when one is in a different phase of life compared to the other.
And don’t forget how one’s schedules would likely not match up very well.
As tough as it might sound, it might not be so wise to spend time with someone who’s usually unavailable.
On the other hand, for those who are in a relationship, good luck!
Girls frequently meet up with guys who are in the same stage of life as them and are more available.
Even if the relationship does not end with a breakup, it would definitely take a hit.
It is quite unlikely that one’s relationship would strengthen.
If anything, it would take a dip or be at maintenance at best.
Thankfully, people have shared their experience as an NS girlfriend.
To those in NS, all the best! These two years will pass very quickly!
Related To NS:
8 Types of NSF in Singapore (National Service)
101 Bad Habits during National Service (NS) in Singapore Part 2
